The Weirdest Retrieval Job Ever
by Ulquiorra9000
Summary: Ban and Ginji meet and are hired by characters from other series for a job. They will find it their most bizarre case of all time!


I made this story out of boredom, hope you like it. It counts as Getbackers even though it has characters from other mangas, including: Chii from Chobits, Kenpachi Zaraki from Bleach, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke from Naruto, InuYasha and Naraku from InuYasha, and the Death Note from Death Note. Plus a reference to Ranma 1/2 with the magical springs.

Cars of various colors and models zoomed up and down the streets of Tokyo, and crowds of people and Persocons wandered the sidewalks. One particular Persocon, with long blonde hair named Chii advanced down the street with single-minded determination to find employment. Earlier that day, her owner, Hideki, had told her to find a suitable job to increase income. So, Chii scanned the streets looking for such a job.

Ahead, Chii saw two people walking toward her, a boy and girl in their teens. The boy had an orange and black suit, and a crown of blond hair. He wore a headband with a metal plate on his head. The plate had a spiral-like symbol on it. The girl had a short pink skirt-item and tall black boots, and pink hair. She wore a headband like the boy's, except that the cloth was red and the plate was on top of her head.

Curious, Chii abandoned her job hunt to see what the teens were doing. They stopped at the mouth of an alley, where two older teens sat. They had a sign exclaiming, "GetBackers! We get your lost stuff back, and we have an almost 100 success rate!" One older teen had sea-urchin like brown hair, a white dress shirt, and small glasses with purple lenses. The other had shorter blond hair, tan shorts, and a green, parted vest.

"We're the GetBackers, Ban Mido and Ginji Amano!" the one with brown hair exclaimed, getting up. The other got up, looking happy.

"You're retrievers, right?" the girl with pink hair asked.

"That's right," the brown-haired one said, pushing up his glasses with his pointing finger. "For a fee, we'll get back whatever was taken from you!"

The other boy, Ginji, saw Sakura and at once leaped at her and took her hands.

"Ohhhh, you're so cute!" he squealed. The girl looked confused by the loving outburst. "You'll give us a great job, won't you? Owwwwww!" and the brown-haired one, Ban, had seized Ginji by the ears and dragged him back.

"We can't flirt with our customers!" he barked in Ginji's chibi face.

"I know, but I've been lonely!" the chibi said, waving his stumpy arms. Pink patches glowed under his eyes.

Chii watched in fascination. She tilted her head back, softly muttering, "Chii?"

"Anyway, we need a person back," the boy with the orange suit said. He took out a picture of a third boy, wearing a blue shirt, and had black hair and a headband. "This is Sasuke Uchiha. He's our former teammate, and he's been gone for a long time. Can you get him for us?"

The two retrievers looked over the picture, and Ban said, "Of course, good clients. Just follow us and we'll get right to it. You both look capable."

The boy and girl, Naruto and Sakura, nodded and followed Ban and Ginji. "Sa… suke?" Chii muttered, trying out the name. "Re… trievers. Chii will follow!" and she set off after the quartet, saying, "Sa-suke! Sa-suke! Sa-suke!"

The retrievers and the ninjas roamed Tokyo's streets, looking for clues to the missing Uchiha. A large wooden well caught Ginji's attention.

"Ban-chan, look at this!" he exclaimed, running up to the wooden well and looking down it. "What's a well doing here?"

"Looks pretty out of place," Ban noted, walking up and inspecting the well.

"Maybe it leads somewhere," Sakura suggested. But before anyone could say anything more, a demon erupted from the well, seized Ban, Ginji, Naruto, Sakura, and Chii, and dragged them all down the well. Their surroundings changed to magic, and then they were all deposited into a field in nature, with forests all around.

"Where are we?" Ban wondered, looking around. "Strange place," Chii stated quietly.

"I'll bet Sasuke is around here somewhere!" Naruto declared, sweeping his gaze around with a flatted hand above his eyes. "Let's go!" and the five of them searched. It was clear that they had somehow gone back in time, to Japan's feudal ages. Old-style wooden houses were around, and peasant workers. Ahead was a series of springs, each around ten feet across. Tall bamboo poles rose from the water.

As soon as the group came close, someone appeared. It was a boy with a red robe and long, silver hair. He held a massive fang-shaped sword. He swung the sword and cried, _"Wind Scar!" _

Three beams of jagged yellow energy surged from the sword, and raced toward the group. They scattered as the Wind Scar blasted the ground and left three large gouges in the dirt. The boy landed and brandished the sword. "Who are you all?" he demanded.

"You're picking a fight with the wrong person, friend," Ban snarled, getting to his feet. He held out his right arm, and the ghost of a massive snake crawled around it. "You'd better get lost."

"Ban-chan, we don't have to fight!" Ginji reasoned. Ban merely pushed Ginji aside, and leaped to the top of one of the bamboo poles. The boy, InuYasha, did likewise. InuYasha held his sword pointed at Ban, waiting for the other to make the first move. With a cry, Ban leaped forward, swinging his right arm. The ghost snake reared its head, and struck with Ban's hand. InuYasha brought the Tetsusaiga up to block the blow, and energy crackled about the point of contact.

"Be devoured!" Ban growled, leaping back and swinging again. InuYasha jumped away from the blow, and swung his sword in a sideways slash. Ban blocked the blow with his foot, then leaped over InuYasha, throwing a kick. The blow landed, connecting wit InuYasha's cheek. The half-demon was sent flying, and tumbled to the ground between the springs.

"Go Ban-chan!" Chibi Ginji cheered, waving good fortune fans in his stumpy arms. Naruto watched the battle in fascination. Then, he sensed another attack coming, and tumbled to get out of the way. Four massive scalpels thunked into the ground that Naruto had occupied before. Naruto looked up, and saw a tall man with a black suit standing a few feet away. He wore a fedora with a massively wide brim, and his black hair fell in strands around his head.

"This could be very fun," he said in a smooth voice, holding out his hands. Scalpels appeared between his fingers, and he held them in his fists. With lightning speed, he dashed forward and slashed Naruto across the chest. But even as Akabane watched Naruto's chest being slashed open, he vanished in a poof of smoke, and a log segment occupied Naruto's spot, and it bore the scalpel marks.

Akabane stepped back, surprised. He looked up, and saw two Narutos falling toward him, holding the Rasengan in their open hands. "Yaaaaaah!" Naruto cried, and thrust the ball of chakra toward Akabane. The doctor dodged the blow, and it exploded into the ground, leaving a crater. Akabane felt sudden pain in his chest, and he saw that the Rasengan had brushed him and left damage.

"Yes, very amusing," Akabane glowed, gripping the brim of his hat with two fingers. "Please make this as enjoyable as possible, Naruto-kun." Naruto prepared for the worst.

InuYasha dodged Ban's furious attacks, then put distance between himself and Ban. He held the Tetsusaiga back, then slashed it down, crying, _"Wind Scar!" _and the three surges of yellow energy raged toward Ban, who called on the power of Ophiuchus to avoid it. But his defense wasn't quite enough, and he was rented by the attack, and fell off his bamboo post.

"Ban-chaaaan!" Ginji cried, waddling as fast as his chibi legs would let him. But he tripped, and fell into one of the springs, vanishing under the water.

Ban got up, running over to the spring, where bubbles were rising to the surface. Then, to Ban's shock, a small black piglet came out instead, and Ginji's clothes came up a second after that. The pig looked up at Ban and cried, "Bu-keeeee!"

"Aiiya! Not good falling in water!" a voice cried, and a large Chinese man in guide clothes came rushing over. "These be cursed springs, good customers. When you fall in water, you take new forms! This be Spring of Drowned Piglet!"

"I can see that!" Ban snapped, picking up the piglet. "Tell me how to change him back!"

"You do this," the guide said, taking out a kettle of hot water. He poured the contents onto the indignant pig, and Ginji reappeared as a human. He quickly got his clothes back on.

"We're not done yet!" InuYasha cried, swooping in for another attack. Ban dodged the Tetsusaiga, and stood his ground.

Some feet away, Akabane threw a stream of scalpels, stating, _"Bloody Stream!" _The attack grazed Naruto all over, but he threw shuriken in response, and Akabane was occupied dodging them. Then, he saw that twenty Narutos were all rushing toward him.

"Oh, my, look at that," Akabane said, and whipped his scalpels around with inhuman speed. Half of the Narutos were split into pieces, and the other Narutos' attacks were blocked. But one managed to land a punch to Akabane's chest, and he was sent tumbling back.

"Heh heh heh… good, good!" a wicked voice crooned, and everyone turned to look. There stood a man with long black hair and a body made from different demon body parts assembled together. It was Naraku!

"You're all so powerful," he said to everyone. "You will all make excellent additions to my body. After I'm done with him, that is." He turned, and Sasuke walked forward. A shikon jewel shard glowed in his neck, binding him to Naraku's will. He saw Naruto and said, "Naruto. Did you come looking for me? It's too late! I serve Naraku now, and you'll be consumed by him to increase his power. Don't even think about resistance."

"Sasuke!" Sakura cried, dashing closer. "You've got to come back to us. Naraku is evil and manipulative, and he'll consume you too!"

"Nonsense," Sasuke answered. He pulled out his sword, and his Sharingan blazed red in his eyes. "If you resist, Master Naraku and I will overpower you and take your body. Don't make this difficult, Sakura."

In response, Sakura punched the ground, blasting the dirt apart in a massive shockwave. Naraku, surprised, braced himself against the shock. Sasuke did the same.

"That's the target!" Ban said, pointing to Sasuke. "Ginji, help the others to get him!"

InuYasha and Akabane moved to position themselves in front of Naraku, and them plus Sasuke regarded the others. A fourth one stepped forward, with a clanging of bells. Kenpachi, grinning in bloodlust, took his place among the others.

"This'll be a fun battle," he said. He, too, had a shikon shard. "Why don't we make this a battle royale? The winner gets the honor of being consumed by Master Naraku!"

"You don't have to tell me twice," Sasuke said, stepping forward. "The blond kid over there. I'll fight him."

"Me?" Ginji asked, pointing to himself.

"Right, " Sasuke confirmed. "Prepare yourself!" and advanced for an attack. Kenpachi swung his Zanpakuto, and Akabane's Bloody Sword answered to the attack. InuYasha bounded toward Naruto, launching a Wind Scar. Naruto was hit by the attack, but when the dust cleared, Naruto stood unharmed, and his cheek whiskers were thick and his eyes and teeth were those of a fox. Orange chakra flowed over him, taking the shape of a fox.

Sasuke threw a trio of kunai, but Ginji was able to stop the projectiles with his magnetic power. He threw the weapons back, but Sasuke pulled ninja wires. A giant shuriken five feet wide was connected to it, and zoomed up to Ginji from behind. Ginji dodged the attack, but the sharp edges grazed him. Sasuke, with Sharingan blazing, watched the move and got close, attacking. Ginji stopped Sasuke's sword with his fists, and unleashed his electricity. Sasuke was driven back, but far from beaten. He formed hand seals, and cried, "FireBall Jutsu!" A ball of fire flew from his mouth, and chibi Ginji waddled away with his hair on fire, crying, "Hot hot hot!"

Elsewhere, Ban engaged Naraku, launching his Snake Bite. Naraku blocked it with insect demon legs, which disintegrated. Thick, root-like tentacles lashed out of nowhere, and Ban dodged them and tore at them. But Naraku had most of the shikon jewel, and was able to regenerate whatever Ban destroyed. He sent a brawny ogre-demon arm out to attack, and knocked Ban away. He also fired needles with miasma, and they peppered Ban, who felt the energy being drained out of him by the miasma.

"Heh-heh, so you'll be the first to fall!" Naraku grinned, sending his tentacles to attack. Ban tumbled to dodge the attacks, but he was weakening.

Akabane struggled against Kenpachi's massive spiritual power. The soul reaper's strength was incredible; Akabane managed to be knocked back without taking damage.

"You don't stand a chance with just a sword," Kenpachi leered, holding his sword out so it pointed at Akabane. "Make this worth my time, Dr. Jackal. I didn't come all this way for a boring fight."

"Tee hee. So then, you want a good fight?" Akabane asked, lowering his bloody sword. The air around him practically shimmered as he prepared to fight at maximum level. "I will do so, then. Please don't hold back, either."

"Then I won't!" Kenpachi roared, and lunged for another attack. He swung his Zanpakuto back and forth, and Akabane could do nothing but dodge the furious attacks. The ground practically exploded from where the blows landed, and Akabane felt his arm get a long scratch.

"Oh, my," Akabane said, looking at the wound. "You got past my guard." He relaxed his sword arm, and held his other hand higher. A few scalpels emerged, then more. A river of scalpels flowed in an arc, and soon, over a hundred of them swarmed around a surprised Kenpachi.

"_Bloody Hurricane," _Akabane whispered, as the scalpels closed in on their target. The impact created a dust cloud as the power exploded at once on Kenpachi. Before the dust even cleared, the soul reaper burst from the cloud, covered in wounds. He gave a yell and swung extra fast at Akabane, who brought up his Bloody Sword just in time to block it. Kenpachi glared at Akabane with bloodlust, and grinned. "Heeeyaaah!" he cried as he increased the pressure of his attack.

Overwhelmed, Akabane was hit and knocked over. Kenpachi pursued him, but Akabane threw a quartet of scalpels at him. Kenpachi dodged them, but they gave Akabane the time to get up and attack, giving Kenpachi another scratch across the chest with his Bloody Sword. Kenpachi swung back, and Akabane dodged it. The doctor rested as single finger on the brim of his hat and said, "Tee hee. Both of us wish nothing more than for a full and bloody death match. How perfect for us to be paired like this." Though he was facing away from Kenpachi, his eyes were positioned so that he regarded his soul reaper enemy. Kenpachi nodded. "Nothing less," he agreed, and redoubled his attack.

InuYasha launched his Wind Scar at Naruto, who leaped away on all fours to avoid the attack. Naruto gave an animal growl, and bounded after InuYasha. Half-demon and demon-assisted human clashed with titanic energy, shaking the ground. Naruto clawed with his right arm, and was blocked by Tetsusaiga's silver blade. The demon-fox chakra branched from Naruto, and seized InuYasha, crushing him. InuYasha struggled against the grip, his fire rat robe fighting the attack. With a burst, InuYasha broke free and swung with his claws. _"Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!" _he yelled, and yellow energy trailed behind his claws. Naruto resisted the attack, but InuYasha swung with his other arm, too, and that Iron Reaver slashed Naruto and sent him sprawling.

InuYasha swung with Tetsusaiga again, and Naruto dodged it. Backing up, Naruto created the Rasengan in his left hand. He charged forth with it, and InuYasha responded with a Wind Scar. The Wind scar slowed Naruto, but his Rasengan let him burst through. The Rasengan slammed against Tetsusaiga's blade, making sparks fly. Naruto overwhelmed InuYasha's defenses, and sent him tumbling.

"You're pretty tough," InuYasha commented as he got to his feet. "Your Rasengan attack is tough to stop. And my Backlash Wave is useless if an attack isn't launched."

"You'll be consumed," Demon Naruto growled, and bound forward. But he was stopped by a sudden quartet of scalpels, and he looked up. Akabane's and Kenpachi's fight had taken center stage, and interfered with the other duels. Kenpachi's Zanpakuto attack missed, and hit InuYasha instead. Angered, InuYasha dug into his wound, covering his fingers with his blood. _"Blades of Blood!" _he said, and lances of energized blood lashed out. But they missed and hit Akabane instead, who went after InuYasha with scalpels. With Akabane's back to him, Naruto bashed into Akabane's back, sending him flying.

"He's my enemy only!" Kenpachi declared as he swung at Naruto. "No one interferes with my battle!" Naruto blocked the Zanpakuto, and Akabane threw Bloody Stream at Kenpachi, who was hit. But then InuYasha rent Akabane's back with Iron Reaver, and Kenpachi kicked InuYasha before the half-demon could raise his guard.

Then, Sasuke, who was chasing Ginji, missed with his Fireball Jutsu and roasted the five of them.

"Aaaargh! You'll pay for that!" Kenpachi said, and he, Akabane, Naruto, InuYasha, and Ginji all attacked Sasuke. Sasuke used the Sharingan to dodge the blows, and land a few of his own. Then, he fired another Fireball Jutsu, but that was a mistake. Swinging Tetsusaiga, InuYasha said, _"Backlash Wave!" _and a vortex of blue energy surrounded the Fireball. The fireball raced after its launcher, coupled with the Wind Scar. The combined attack battered Sasuke, who backed up from everyone.

"Ha ha ha!" Isn't this fun?!" Naraku gloated as he watched the battle. "Which one will I take?" he licked his lips. But then, Chii came up to Naraku and pointed at the jewel implanted in his chest.

"Shikon jewel," she said.

"Errr, well, yes," Naraku said. "It's my source of power. But anyway!" he prepared for more combat, but at that moment, Akabane pulled out a thin black notebook from inside his suit. Silver letters on the cover read Death Note. "I have the power to slay you all with this notebook!" the doctor gloated. He pulled out a pen, and started to write a name. But before he could finish, InuYasha, Kenpachi, Ginji, Ban, Naraku, Sakura, and Naruto kicked his face at once, and chibi Akabane tumbled away with seven lumps on his head. Naraku sent out tentacles to claim the book, but InuYasha sliced them off. Naruto lunged for the book, only to be booted away by Kenpachi's foot. Ginji reached for it, but Sakura hit the ground and shook everyone away. Then, Chii stepped forward, picked up the book, and with mechanical speed, wrote everyone's name in the book. All eight other combatants fell dead where they stood.

"Chii!" Chii exclaimed happily. What magic that book was!

The end!


End file.
